Learning to let go

Of control, that is.

I'm a planner and live and die by a schedule.  Having a baby has taught me or is in the process of teaching me to let go and be more flexible.

Several friends recommended the book, Babywise, to me.  It's basically a guide to help your baby sleep throughout the night and has an emphasis on scheduled feedings with a little parent intuition rather than feeding on demand.

Anyway, you'd think it'd be right up my alley,  but babies give zero fucks about schedule.  I tried so hard and stressed so much that Baby Girl was not staying on schedule and wouldn't nap for long enough.  I felt like such a failure that the formula of Eat, Wake, Sleep was not working for me.  One and a half hour naps were only lasting 45 minutes for me.  I was timing naps and playtime and feedings and it was driving me crazy and adding to my stress.  I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, but you know what?  All babies are different.

For my own sanity, I had to stop.  If she's only napping for 45 minutes, I should be glad she got that nap in.  If it takes me 30 minutes of crying to get her to sleep, then it's ok.  If I'm creating sleep habits and sleep associations, I'll deal with breaking them later.  Right now, I'm only concerned that she is happy, gaining weight, and generally healthy.

*breathes in*
*exhales*