The Internet is Evil

We've been having a rough past few days.  Elise is super fussy and won't sleep for longer than 45 minutes.  It takes 90 minutes to get her to go down.  The hubster and I are both struggling.  So what do I do when I don't know what's going on?  I google it, of course.  Big mistake!

For every question I ask, there are a billion different answers that contradict each other and could all potentially work.  Implementing them also becomes a problem.  As an engineer, you would think I would make one change to see if there is an improvement and that these changes are not a one and done kind of attempt.  It's more like they need a week to see if it pans out.  Patience is in short supply in this household and getting shorter with each sleepless night.

I question myself constantly and don't know if I'm doing anything right.  I feel like a failure most times.  To see that precious little face in a silent heart wrenching cry is more than i can bear most times, and to not be able to do anything to make it stop.

Last night, I found myself driving around at 1:30 in the morning with a fussy baby in the back.  She was crying non stop up until I put her in the car seat.  She was quiet, but still awake by the time we got home.  She fussed some more, but no crying. I fed her and put her in her crib with no real expectation that she would sleep and wouldn't you know it.  She slept for 3 hours!  Then in the morning, I fed her and she slept again.  And for this next feeding!  What is going on?  Such a rollercoaster!

It's ironic because this morning I had resolved to try to keep her more awake during the day to see if that helps her sleep at night, but it's so hard to wake her up when she's sleeping after so many sleepless nights.  Maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot here by ignoring all the internet information, but I've decided I don't care.  I'm going to do what works for me and my baby.