Things I've Learned

Warning: this is about baby poop.

Baby Girl has started to eat solids and now doesn't poop every day.  That's fine by me, but not by my mom.  She insists that Baby Girl should be pooping every single day.  I don't even poop every single day.

She's been going pretty consistently on every 4th day which from Dr. Google is completely normal.  Up to a week is still normal!  So what have I learned from all of this?

A sure fire way to get your kiddo to poop is put them in nice clothes (i.e. not Carter's footed pajamas) and go out with an agenda.  Case in point: I went to the mall to buy some new pants.  I dressed Baby Girl to match me and guess what?  She had the mother of all poops on the way to the mall and I didn't notice until we were in the dressing room of Nordstrom.

Diaper change in Nordstrom!  I thought I was going to run out of wipes.  It was gross.

Also every time I tell my mom that Baby Girl has pooped, she always responds with "She is happy now" without fail.  I didn't know bowel movements were the key factor in happiness.

Everyone Needs A Baby

You know how most new parents are always telling other people to have babies as soon as possible and are always pushing the baby agenda on others?  I secretly think it's not because they love babies now that they have one of their own.  It's really more like they want others to be as exhausted as they are so they can commiserate together.


Misery loves company, right?


PS I love my baby and the exhaustion is worth it.

Someone Please Take My Money

I've spent the majority of the day trying to find someone to take my money.  I went to the mall and have spent an embarrassing amount of time online shopping to not have purchased one thing for myself.  I don't count the outfits I bought Baby Girl.  Her clothes are so cheap compared to mine, it's like spending Monopoly money.

Since April, I have bought nothing but nursing related clothes (bras and tanks) and new underwear.  That's it!  I also don't count clothes purchased for costumes.

Struck out at Nordstroms, Free People, Anthropologie, Gap, Banana Republic.  Well there is a dress at Anthro that I want, but I refuse to pay for shipping.  $10.95 is pretty steep to try something on.

My back up purchase are some new shorts from Lululemon, but I already own the same pair and that's not real clothes that I can wear to work or some place other than the gym or grocery store.

Please help.

Bad Mom

Baby Girl had some bloody poo and we took her to see the doctor. The night before I googled it to see what we could expect to hear. The search results yielded anal fissure and dairy sensitivity. 

I was really rooting for anal fissure because I don't want to give up dairy. 😂

Well I was wrong and have cut out dairy for almost two weeks. It's hard! I eat a lot of cheese 🧀

Denial

I am in utter denial that Baby Girl no longer fits into her newborn or 0-3 month clothes. 😢

She's growing by that measure, but she still looks the same to me. So weird.

I'm a little sad that she's not my little peanut anymore. And by that I mean, she's a normal sized baby. She's in her 3-6 months clothes when she started out barely fitting into newborn. I guess my breastmilk is doing something right or she's just a little piggie 🐽 lol

Oh, the irony

My mom has been on my case about limiting Baby Girl's exposure to the outdoors. Like non-stop! But she got her first bug bite while in the care of my mom!

HA!

Growing so much, but not too much

I realized today while changing Baby Girl's diaper that I had dressed her in her coming home from hospital outfit. She's almost outgrown the onesie and the pants are a much better fit. It's a good reminder that I need to save the onesie and not donate it!

Look at the difference!

And then there was one

One parent that is.

The hubster left this morning on a 6 day trip leaving me alone with Baby Girl for the first time ever!  I can't say I'm not nervous or on the verge of a breakdown, but I've had 12 weeks of parenting.  I should be ready for this, right?

I mean tons of single moms do it from day one...

Math and Time PSA

In case you didn't know,

1 hour and 15 minutes does not equal 1.15 hours

That is all.

Thank you.

Running Rewards

I've been running almost every other day since I was cleared at my 6 week post partum doctor's visit.  I'm not running for very long because I've got the baby with me and running with a stroller is a lot harder than running solo.

I just hit my pre-pregnancy weight and by pre-pregnancy, the weight my doctor used as my baseline which was probably 2 months in, so not pre-pre-pregnancy weight just yet, but close!

I'm a firm believer in rewards.  Before becoming pregnant, food was my reward.  Since I'm trying to lose weight and not just maintain, I reward myself with a shower!  I usually shower every other day because #momlife and they usually coincide with runs.  If I don't get a run in, I don't withhold it.  Ewww because that would be gross.  No instead, I use all my fancy smancy bath products in my after run showers.  Lush body scrubs, peppermint foot scrub, Avene toner, Caudalie face mist, Chanel body lotion, the works.  Non-run showers get Cetaphil and Lubriderm.

Just a few more pounds...

Hubster = Toddler

In so many way, but today's post is about his eating habits.

I honestly don't know how he is still alive.  There is nothing green in his diet.  Though he claims to eat green beans, but that's like 6 times a year.  I don't think that counts.  His diet is seriously like a toddlers, maybe even worse, but what's also peculiar is that he only eats whole Triscuits.

Not like whole grain Triscuits, but whole unbroken Triscuits.  I've found a number of opened boxes of Triscuits that are about 90% consumed.  The common trend?  They are all broken Triscuits.

It's like the kid who only eats crustless sandwiches cut into triangles.

So guess who is stuck eating the broken ones?  I'll have two children to deal with soon enough.

Nipples

Not mine!

My brother and his wife bought this blanket for Baby Girl for Christmas while she was still in utero. It was super cute in its original packaging. It was rolled up and looked like a bear. You can kind of still see the bear, but when I look at it, it looks like dog nipples with a face...

It's kinda creepy. 

Group Overload

Prior to having Baby Girl, I was part of two or three Facebook groups - all lacrosse related.  Since Baby Girl's arrival, I have joined 17 Facebook groups! SEVENTEEN! 17!

I've joined four San Diego Mom groups, one for Poway, two breastfeeding groups, one carseat group, four babywearing groups, one cloth diaper group, two baby development/sleep groups, and one postpartum group!

I need to stop joining groups or else I'll spend all my time reading posts on Facebook.  I catch myself reading when I should be interacting with Baby Girl.

Damn You, Target

I cannot stay away.  It's a sickness.  Cartwheel doesn't help either or the 5% discount using the Target card.  It's like I find deals on Cartwheel and then I have to go to Target.  Once there, I find shit I don't need, but still buy.

Don't get me started on Target clearance.  In the past week, I've bought another activity mat (to keep at my mom's house when she starts watching Baby Girl full time), two pairs of pants for Baby Girl, hooded baby bath towel, and long sleeved, footed pajamas!  I justify everything by saying she will need them eventually.

Eventually, we will be bathing her every day and this bath towel will put us at 4.
Eventually, it will be cold enough for pants and long sleeved footed pajamas.

At least clearance baby items are significantly cheaper than clearance Elaine clothes.

All baby, all the time

Pre-baby, I noticed that once my friends had a baby, it was like that's all said friend could put on their social media. I've fallen into the same trap, but not because I'm obsessed with my baby, but because I don't do anything but take care of my baby. I wish I had something other than baby related pictures and posts, but I am stuck in an eternal 3 hour cycle revolving around my baby. So it's not because I've changed, but my circumstances have changed. I guess I can't wait to go back to work to do something other than baby. Or be able to go out to a nice meal and take some more food pictures or just do something interesting that goes beyond monitoring poop color or being attached to my pump or cleaning up spit up...

You can't spoil a newborn

That's just one of the things I have heard. Also newborns aren't manipulative. And by manipulative, they cry for no reason. 

I question that last one. I'm currently holding my baby to sleep and I swear to god that after I picked her up and settled down into the chair, she opened her eyes and gave me the most devious and cutest smile. A smile that says "You just got played" or "You're my bitch" or "Sucker". Very self satisfying smile. I'm keeping my eye on you!!!

Exfoliation

Ever since giving birth, Ive put undue pressure on myself to get back to my pre-pregnancy body.  I know that logically it took me 10 months to put on the weight, I should give myself that much time to take it off.  If you know me,  I'm impatient and need results now.  It's not just the weight though.  My skin is what's giving me grief now.  I know it'll take some time to get back to normal, but it just doesn't feel the same.  It's not just loose, but different.

I read that exfoliating will help it bounce back, so before seeing a movie with the hubster, we stopped at Lush where I probably spent too much money on two tubs of exfoliating products:  Rub Rub Rub and Ocean Salt.  I use Rub Rub Rub every day  and has replaced my Dove bar and I use Ocean Salt once a week as I feel it does a bit more exfoliating than the other.  I really like how the Rub^3 leaves my skin feeling and smelling.

Taking a shower is one of my escapes as of late and if this makes it even more luxurious and decadent, then I think it's worth the extra money.

Treat yo'self!

Breathing Easier

The hubster and I had some very good friends come and visit us for a long weekend.  It was amazing, exactly what I needed.  They brought a sense of normalcy back into my life and just for a moment, I could breathe a little easier.

Just knowing that there was no judgement from my friends and that they were willing to take a crying, screaming baby and soothe her until she fell asleep was just priceless, really no words can describe it.  I don't get that sense of relief when my mom or the hubster are there for me.  Even if they are holding Baby Girl, I know that I need to be ready to be tagged back in, but with my friend, she had it covered from start to finish.  That's what a safety net feels like.

While my one friend covered the baby front, the other had me covered.  She made sure I could be myself and find myself again.  Their dual efforts really just brought me out of my postpartum rut.  They just left and I'm overwhelmingly sad.  I'll miss them so much.

Learning to let go

Of control, that is.

I'm a planner and live and die by a schedule.  Having a baby has taught me or is in the process of teaching me to let go and be more flexible.

Several friends recommended the book, Babywise, to me.  It's basically a guide to help your baby sleep throughout the night and has an emphasis on scheduled feedings with a little parent intuition rather than feeding on demand.

Anyway, you'd think it'd be right up my alley,  but babies give zero fucks about schedule.  I tried so hard and stressed so much that Baby Girl was not staying on schedule and wouldn't nap for long enough.  I felt like such a failure that the formula of Eat, Wake, Sleep was not working for me.  One and a half hour naps were only lasting 45 minutes for me.  I was timing naps and playtime and feedings and it was driving me crazy and adding to my stress.  I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, but you know what?  All babies are different.

For my own sanity, I had to stop.  If she's only napping for 45 minutes, I should be glad she got that nap in.  If it takes me 30 minutes of crying to get her to sleep, then it's ok.  If I'm creating sleep habits and sleep associations, I'll deal with breaking them later.  Right now, I'm only concerned that she is happy, gaining weight, and generally healthy.

*breathes in*
*exhales*

Pretty Pleased

If you've ever spent any time with my mom, you know she's a little (a lot) OCD.  I think I picked up a little of that from her.

I got a manicure and pedicure on Sunday.  A sweet little treat for myself away from the baby.  Thanks hubster.  Usually the place I go to is amazing, both manicure (shellac) and pedicure last forever.  My luck ran out.  I had chipped my big toe sometime during the night and saw it during my middle of the night feeding of Baby Girl.

I was more upset that it lasted less than 24 hours, but that giant chip just ate and ate and ate away at me.  It's a good thing that I knew the name of the color because 9 out of 10 times I get this color.  It's China Glaze's Flip Flop Fantasy.  Before going back to bed, I googled where they sell China Glaze and instructions on how to fix a chip.

After my morning run and feeding Baby Girl, we made a field trip to Sally Beauty supply where I spent $27 to fix a chip on a $25 pedicure!  I bought the nail polish, a good top coat, pure acetone, and a nail buffer.  I justify all this because I needed most of those items anyway and can now do my own pedicures, but not totally forgo them.

I spent about 15 minutes fixing it and I'm pretty pleased with the results.

Baby Girl and I also stopped by Target because it's on the way home and returned one of the onesies I bought (we kept the bigger one) and I bought some pants and a hat for her on clearance.  It's Target, you never leave empty handed whether you want to or not.

I Just Can't

I don't even know if that is even proper English, but I just can't deal with my mom sometimes.  She's your typical Asian parent where everything is too expensive and should be free.

Case in point:

We talked about seeing the Lion King when it comes to San Diego.  I think my brother put the idea in her head.  I saw it with said brother and some friends in Costa Mesa last year.  It was good.  She asked how much I paid and said $50.  They weren't the best seats (in the top most section), but you can still see and I enjoyed it.

In San Diego, it's in the San Diego Civic theater which is where we saw the Nutcracker this past Christmas.  I showed her where we sat and said they were good seats.  For Lion King, I think they were going for $80.  She asked how much I paid for the seats for the Nutcracker.  It's a completely different show, but the same seat, so the price should be the same... local ballet company vs touring Broadway show.  Yep, totally get it!

I show her the cheapest tickets on the Ticketmaster site.  They are either in the farthest away from the stage and to the far corners or are listed as seats with sight obstructions.  Duh, they ARE the cheapest tickets!

She just scoffs.  Who would pay for those seats?  Who would pay for any seats?!?!

I'm done.  I just can't.

Discovery!

It's amazing what one can learn when one reads the manual that comes with things!

Yesterday was a sleeping struggle for all of us.  I was completely wiped out from a 2 mile run, then 3 mile walk and Baby Girl was just not into napping.  She had one good nap and I was dying for a nap.  I should have taken the nap when she napped like they say you should, but I was researching day care options.

Anyway, she skipped over her 7 pm nap and after 1.5 hours of trying to get her to nap, I gave up and fed her where she promptly fell asleep while nursing.  She didn't nurse for long, so I was convinced she would be up in 2 hours, but surprisingly she made it to 2:30 am!  When I heard her over the monitor, I went to mute it so that the crying didn't wake up the hubster.  I hit something that made the camera turn off.  After I fed Baby Girl and put her back in her crib, I had to figure out what the heck I did.

I pulled up the manual online and was able to get the monitor to work again.  I also found that the monitor has a power saving function where it sleeps until it registers a noise and turns itself back on.  That's great because I've been putting a towel over it to block the light when I sleep.

Something I never would have known about if I hadn't accidentally turned off the camera.

If I had a nickel...

For every time Egg Roll gets locked in the  nursery, I'd have a lot of nickels. 

Egg Roll loves to follow me around the house. Wherever I'm at, she's sure to be right behind me or in a location where she can watch me. So every time I'm in the nursery, she's under the bed. She used to be on the bed, but we got a new chair which is too short for her to use as a launching pad on to the bed. She is not pleased. 

Anyway, every time I put the baby down and leave the room, Egg Roll is a bit too slow to follow or too wary of me telling her to get out that she inevitably gets locked in. Then after 10 minutes and we realize that she is "missing", we let her out. 

So annoying. I expect my dogs to be relatively self sufficient at this point. Well as self sufficient as a dog can be. 

Click Bait

Maybe I'm using the term incorrectly, but I hate fucking Facebook posts or tweets that go like "Soandso does XYZ, but wait until you see why" or "watch what he does next"

Even if I really want to see what happens next, I don't click on principle.

Watermelon!

I think I really need this towel.

On the move again

I had my six week postpartum visit with the doctor and everything looks good.  I've been cleared to start exercising again!  Woohoo!

I've been on two runs so far and while it's been tiring, it feels so good to be moving again.  These are short, slow runs, but I'm getting out there.  The jogging stroller is awesome though a beast to get up even small inclines.

One side effect I've noticed is that my feet are in extreme need of exfoliating.  I'm shedding dead skin cells like crazy!  It's really gross.  Maybe I'm rebuilding my callouses from my two month hiatus on running.

My Baby Is A Terrorist

Not in the way of ISIS or Al-Qaeda, but her cries strike terror in my heart, just today anyway.  She was doing so well with napping and sleeping or maybe I was doing so well with her sleep schedule, but today, she has been a nightmare.  I think she got one solid nap in and I totally broke down in the car on the way to and from dinner with my family tonight.

I was hoping she would be tired enough to go down easy tonight, but that's not the case.  I even rocked her to sleep against all the fucking baby book advice.  Every time she cries, I cringe.  A few times, she settled back in by herself, but she is now on a crying binge.  I'm going to have PTSD from this baby.

Sleep Progress?

Every time we have a little victory in the sleep department, I always wonder if it's really progress and she's learning the routine I'm trying to set down for her or if it's a fluke.  A mean joke she is playing on us.

I am truly committing to Babywise!  That means:

• Consistent first feeding
• Not nursing to sleep (during the day - I'm not quite ready to give it up for the middle of the night feeds)
• Keeping Elise up for wake time (this is easier to swallow since she favors her left side more and we need tummy time to avoid a flat spot and strengthen her neck muscles)
• Keeping to the routine I've created

I'm so committed I spent the morning typing up the consistent steps to her routine.  I printed out three copies.  One for above the crib, one by where the hubster camps out on the couch, and one for the kitchen table.

So today, the first cycle didn't pan out and she wouldn't go down even after three cycles of trying to soothe and put her down.  Finally caved and rocked her to sleep in my arms so she would have at least an hour nap.  I realized that that is ok.  She's not going to learn right away.  So 3-4 attempts to get her to sleep on her own is enough for her and if we keep at it, she'll get it.  She's got the hubster's and my brains, and she's always exceeded expectations.  I also learned that 4 attempts to get her down was too many and after the third crying session is when I should help her sleep by any means necessary.  That way, hopefully, we can fit in a 1.5 hour nap as opposed to 1 hour.

It worked out for the next feeding.  We kept her up for the wake time and she slept through to the next feeding.  We cheated a little because we drove to brunch with family, but that's life.  We came home after some shopping and fed her.  We attempted wake time by doing some tummy time for the neck strengthening and some back time on the play mat for just general fun time.  She was yawning all over the place and was awake for 35 minutes.  I'm watching for the sleepy cues and even though it's not as long as I wanted, I followed her lead and took her into the nursery for some nap prep.

I put her down and she slept!  No fussing or crying and she was drowsy, but not asleep when I put her in the crib.  Progress or so I hope.  I'm staying optimistic!

Go Elise go!

Disney Avenger 10K Race Costume

I'm 50% of the way done with my costume for the Avengers 10K.  I have decided on dressing up as Vanellope Von Schweetz from Wreck It Ralph. 

It's not a Marvel super hero, but still Disney.  There aren't many Marvel super heroes to choose from and they are so overdone.  Another reason I picked this costume is because it's going to be cold at 5:30 in the morning in November in Anaheim.  Sure it may warm up during the race, but I don't want to freeze in the beginning.  This is a hoodie and tights!

I already had a brown sparkle running skirt from my Russel costume from the last Disney 10K I ran, so that was a sunk cost/free!  Getting a teal/aqua/mint hoodie and tights shouldn't be too expensive since I have time to look and that is a popular color.  I've looked into making the tights and I can either buy the correct color and make elastic stripes to wear or buy white and use fabric paint.  All doable before November.

My older brother is in town and we had brunch today.  Afterwards, the hubster and I ventured over to Sports Authority since they filed bankruptcy and are going out of business.  I got an email saying everything was 40-60% off.  You can never have enough athletic wear.  I found this sweatshirt which was marked down 50% with an additional 40% off, making it $20.  I like it well enough to wear outside of the race, so I picked it up.

I also picked up a North Face hoodie for $24.  Overall, not a bad visit, thought I shouldn't really be spending so much since I'm on maternity leave.

All that is left is to get the tights and buy the accessories for hair and putting finishing touches on the rest of the costume!

The Internet is Evil

We've been having a rough past few days.  Elise is super fussy and won't sleep for longer than 45 minutes.  It takes 90 minutes to get her to go down.  The hubster and I are both struggling.  So what do I do when I don't know what's going on?  I google it, of course.  Big mistake!

For every question I ask, there are a billion different answers that contradict each other and could all potentially work.  Implementing them also becomes a problem.  As an engineer, you would think I would make one change to see if there is an improvement and that these changes are not a one and done kind of attempt.  It's more like they need a week to see if it pans out.  Patience is in short supply in this household and getting shorter with each sleepless night.

I question myself constantly and don't know if I'm doing anything right.  I feel like a failure most times.  To see that precious little face in a silent heart wrenching cry is more than i can bear most times, and to not be able to do anything to make it stop.

Last night, I found myself driving around at 1:30 in the morning with a fussy baby in the back.  She was crying non stop up until I put her in the car seat.  She was quiet, but still awake by the time we got home.  She fussed some more, but no crying. I fed her and put her in her crib with no real expectation that she would sleep and wouldn't you know it.  She slept for 3 hours!  Then in the morning, I fed her and she slept again.  And for this next feeding!  What is going on?  Such a rollercoaster!

It's ironic because this morning I had resolved to try to keep her more awake during the day to see if that helps her sleep at night, but it's so hard to wake her up when she's sleeping after so many sleepless nights.  Maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot here by ignoring all the internet information, but I've decided I don't care.  I'm going to do what works for me and my baby.

My Birth Story: Part 2

So last we left off, we had just confirmed that Elise was still in a breech position and we would be going ahead with the C-section.  It had been scheduled for 2 pm on Thursday.  That meant another early morning breakfast and fasting throughout the day.

I had already packed a hospital bag for last Wednesday for the version in case things went sideways, so I made some last minute adjustments, coordinated with my parents on when they would be at the hospital, and set my alarm for 5 am and went to sleep.

I woke up at 5 am and ate the same breakfast I had a week earlier: bagel, banana, and water, then went back to sleep.  We had to check in at noon, so we were out the door in no time.  We had dropped the dogs off at my parents the night before as to not be stressed before the surgery.  I was really nervous since I've never had major surgery before and anxious that I was going to be a real mom soon.

We went through the registration process where I was shocked back to reality when the registration woman asked if I wanted to pay part of my crazy high deductible today.  I didn't even think about that, but luckily had my FSA card and emptied it toward the deductible, but sadly it made a small dent in it.  FYI max contribution to FSA is $2550 and since I knew I was pregnant last year and had an estimate of the cost, I contributed the max if that gives you an idea of my deductible =(

After the payment was made, we were taken upstairs to surgery prep where I was shaved, given an IV, blood was taken, filled out a bunch of forms, tested for MRSA, and set up with a fetal monitor.  We were here for the next two hours.  My doctor and the anesthesiologist both stopped by to chat, but it really didn't do anything to calm my nerves.  We did do one last ultrasound to confirm she was still breeched.  During this time, my parents made it to the hospital and even though they told us that I was only allowed one person with me in this part of the process, my parents still managed to find their way in and stayed for 15-20 minutes.  I'm pretty sure my mom was pretty nervous for everyone.

Before I knew it, the hubster was suited up and I was being walked to the operating room.  Everything from here on out happened really fast.  I didn't even have time to think.  I was just doing what everyone told me to do.  I left my husband at the entrance to the OR where he would be coming in shortly.  Once inside the OR, I was put on the table and given the spinal block.  Once that had taken effect, a catheter was inserted.  The doctor came in and I'm pretty sure she started before the hubster had come in.

Thankfully, the hubster had entered and before I knew it, things were getting real.  The table was shaking and the hubster stood up to video the whole thing.  (If you want to see if, shoot me an email!)  I was soon introduced to my darling baby girl, Elise.  Of course, this wasn't a vaginal delivery so I couldn't even hold her.  I saw her with the nurse and the hubster was holding her tiny little hand and all I could do was watch and cry.  I think the hubster was mesmerized by her because he was totally ignoring me.  At this point, I was getting nauseous and let the anesthesiologist know and she put something into my IV to help with it.

I was sewn back up and the hubster left with the nurse and Elise to get some drops put in and measurements taken.  I was then taken to my recover room.  Side note: They have this really cool apparatus that you are laying on and inflates with air and makes it super easy to transfer a patient from the operating table to the gurney.  It was amazing!

In the recovery room, I finally got to hold my baby and I was not ready.  She was laying on my chest doing skin to skin and she was moving around and I didn't know what to do. I kept repeating "I don't know what to do".  This was also the first time that she latched on.  The hubster spent some time with me and was sending pictures to my mom about the baby.  Her response was "When can we come in?".  So my mom.  The hubster took this as his cue to swap places with her and she met her first grandchild.  Then she swapped with my dad who wanted to take pictures of me while precariously covered up.  During all these visits, the nurses were asking questions about if any feeling was coming back into my legs and if I could move them and intermittently checking the bleeding going on down there and status of my uterus.

I also got major waves of nausea and needed to get more nausea medication into the IV.  I spent two hours in the recovery room and it went by very quickly.  They moved me up to the postpartum room where I would spend the next 4 days.  On this trip up, this is where my modesty would start to leave me.  I had a male attendant taking me upstairs and on the way, Elise started crying.  I did the only thing I knew to do to make her stop.  I tried to get her to latch and feed. /shrug Moms gotta do what a moms gotta do!

The hubster was waiting for me in the room and we settled in as a happy family for the first time.  And that is how Elise came into this world.  The following hours and days are a whole different story which neither of us were prepared for.

Where I Lose My Shit

Today was one of my worst nightmares.  I experienced my first parent panic attack.  Elise was not being very cooperative this afternoon and so I was wearing her in my wrap.  I had her asleep on the hammock, but the transition to the bed was not very smooth and she promptly woke up and started crying.  Nothing seemed to soothe her, so I threw her back in the wrap.  She would nod off every so often, but only when I was walking.  Every time I sat down, her eyes would pop open!

So I figured I might as well make good use of my time and started to gather everything to make banana bread (I had the bananas thawing in the fridge).  Well, as I was transferring the mixer from the rack to the counter, I had inadvertently placed the mixer on top of Elise's pinky toe!!!!!!

She let out a wail and I lost my shit once I saw what had happened. I looked at her toe and realized I had no idea whether it looked broken, if it was broken?!?!?  Those mixers are heavy!  I immediately run to my phone and call the hubster who was in the garage, the whole time screaming "PICK UP, PICK UP, PICK UP" and then when he answers I yell "WE NEED TO GO THE ER".  I then realize Elise is only wearing a diaper and still in the wrap.  I run into the nursery to get her out of the wrap and dressed so that I can put her in the car seat.

The hubster is now in the house and notices that the baby is quiet.  I'm so confused because a baby with a broken toe would be not be quiet, right?  The mixer has scrapped some skin, but otherwise, it looked fine.  We felt the non-injured toe and tried to compare it to the injured one, but her toes are so tiny who would know if there was anything wrong.  We decided that we would monitor it and if it starts to bruise, we'd go to the doctors or urgent care.

I'm still racked with guilt.

Old Habits

I had outgrown sleeping in. Pre-pregnancy, I was usually up by 8 on the weekends to go on runs or slept in until 9 am at most. Now with the baby and I live in three hour increments, I'm exhausted, but still can't force myself to sleep past 9:30 am even if I'm running on 4 hours of sleep. Like last night for example, I was until 4 am due to a certain screaming bundle and up again at 7 am for a feeding and back in bed at 8 am only to wake up at 9:30 am. It just feels lazy or wasteful to sleep during waking hours. 

Captain's log: day 30 - One month!

One month is a different milestone than 4 weeks, right?

Our little peanut is one month old today!  She's kicking butt at tummy time, has learned to use a bottle and a pacifier in the last week. She's got a pretty consistent schedule though I wouldn't call her a good sleeper, but we've gotten pretty good at deducing what's keeping her from sleeping. 

My college friend Lynn stopped by to visit with her husband and their adorable daughter Penelope. They brought lunch and a belated shower gift. 

It always seems like a luxury to have people over nowadays, but even better when it's another parent. I find I like discussing the trials and tribulations of being a new parent. 

The quilt she made me is amaze-balls. I love it!  Lynn is very talented!

Captain's log: day 29 - Goldilocks

Elise must have been Goldilocks in another life. She needs just the right amount of food in her for her to nap/sleep properly. Too little and her naps are too short. Too much and she cries for hours until she spits up everything. It doesn't help that the hubster insists that I feed her when he can't get her to settle down which leads to more overfeed spit up situations where I am usually the recipient of said spit up

We're working on learning her cues. 

My Birth Story: Part 1

I figured I would throw this out there.

My birth story actually starts a little more than a week before Elise arrived.  I had a regularly scheduled appointment for Monday and the doctor was going to do a cervix check to see how far along I was and to make sure Elise was in the right position of head down.  Lo and behold, she was not.  She was head up and after what happened over the next couple of days, I think she was head up the entire time!

I had no real set birth plan, but I was a little devastated that I was hearing the words C-section for my delivery.  I had no visions of a medication free labor, more of a go as long as I can stand the pain and then get an epidural approach, but I did want to experience labor.  All the studies that state vaginal is better for the baby didn't help either.

The doctor let me know my options.  I could proceed and schedule the C-section or I could try a procedure called an external cephalic version where you manually try to turn the baby right side up.  The risks of the procedure would all end in an emergency C-section if they were realized and the success rate was 50%.  I was barely holding it together and near tears, so I said I needed to talk to my husband.  I also realized that if the procedure was scheduled for that week than my mom and dad were both out of town and I wanted at least my mom here if something went wrong.

The hubster and I discussed it at home and decided we wanted to give it a shot.  In hindsight, after receiving the bill for the version, we might not have done it, but then again, with my insurance, I was going to meet my high deductible anyway.  I guess I didn't know how much I wanted a vaginal birth until then.  Funny how things change... and change.

The version was scheduled for Wednesday, I had to fast for 8 hours beforehand and it was a 1 pm appointment.  I was hungry!  Overall, the version is pretty straightforward.  They monitored the baby for about 30 minutes to make sure everything was ok in babyland.  I got some meds to make my uterus relax.  They lubed me up and the doctor just used her hands to manipulate the baby.

Let me add that prior to making the decision to proceed with the version, I had watched youtube videos of other versions.  It didn't seem so bad, but I later found out that in the States, they don't give pain medication for the version, so I felt every push and turn.  And it hurt.  They got Elise about 80% of the way turned, but just couldn't get her to settle into my pelvis.  The doctor wanted to try to go the other direction, but I was done.  The version wasn't even the worst part.  They had to monitor me and the baby for another hour before releasing me to ensure that the baby would not have an adverse reaction to the procedure.  That wasn't going to happen.  I was having contractions (the ones I couldn't feel) too often and they kept me for another 2 hours.  That is 3 extra hours of not eating.  I had not had anything to eat since 4:20 am and was not released from the hospital until 5:00 pm which had us fighting traffic to get home and to get food!

The good news was that the doctor was able to unset Elise's butt from my pelvis and that offered a little hope that she may turn on her own prior to the C-section which was scheduled for the following Thursday and I had a regular appointment on Wednesday.  The days leading up to the Wednesday appointment, I swear Elise was moving in new places and I had hopes that she had moved, but at the same time, I didn't want her to move.  It had taken some time and lots of tears to accept the C-section.  It was major surgery and not what I had first envisioned, but it came down to getting Elise into this world as safely as possible.  It was also nice knowing exactly when she was due and prior to that week, I had not felt any contractions.

On Wednesday, we confirmed that she had not moved one bit and was quite happy and content in her current position.  Thursday was on!  We had planned a semi-nice dinner out as a last hurrah as non-parents.  It was kind of surreal and with the C-section the next day, it was kind of hard to enjoy it.

That was a long post for not including any part of the actual birth.  Stay tuned for part 2 which I promise will end in a baby!

Maternity Wardrobe

Let's start off saying that I hate maternity clothes.  I hate how everything is either an empire waist or ruched.  I knew very early on that I didn't want to waste money on strictly maternity clothes and wanted clothes that I could potentially wear after I gave birth.  I also knew that some maternity clothes could not be avoided (i.e. pants).  So here is a list clothes that I bought while pregnant.

1. Splendid Maternity Tank
2. Paige Maternity Jeans - Verdugo Ultra Skinny in Nottingham
3. Paige Maternity Jeans - Verdugo Ultra Skinny in Black Shadow
4. H&M Basic Tank Top
5. J. Crew Factory red sleeveless shell
6. Free People Pearls V-Neck T-Shirt
7. Vince Camuto Short Sleeve High/Low hem blouse
8. Splendid Maternity Leggings
9. Rebecca Minkoff Raven Striped Dress
10. Kohls Black Maxi
11. Kohls Black Striped Maxi
12. Gray T-shirt
13. White Thermal
14. Free People Sweater
15. Anthropologie Ballet Sweater
16. Grey Sweater Tunic
17. ASOS white denim maternity shorts
18. Vince Camuto Organza High/Low hem dress
19. Ascis Everysport Shorts
20. Adidas Running Shorts

Of the items listed, only 4 are specifically maternity (i.e. contain panels or extra length).  Even the Splendid tank top could be worn as a regular tank top although long.  Most of the items I simply sized up.  I usually like things fitted (not tight, but fit well to my body), but I think these items I will still wear.  I'm finding that many of the items are working well for me postpartum before I lose all the baby weight especially the shorts now that it's summer and HOT in Poway.

I wasn't really keeping track of the number of items I was buying, but I really didn't think it would tally to 18!  That seems like a high number, but consider how much I would have spent and what I would have bought over the course of 10 months if I weren't pregnant, I think I did exercise restraint.

Captain's log: day 28 - 4 weeks

So there is a difference between 4 weeks and one month right?

Today, we had a "free" follow up photo session with the same company that took the hospital portraits. I had a hard time finding outfits because all I have are onesies and everything else doesn't fit Elise. She is just so small and I didn't really want to buy anything that she would grow out of soon. Also everything I would want would probably be crazy expensive 😬

Elise was not a happy camper to be woken up for the photos. She had been fussy all morning and don't really get a good nap in, but that has been her MO for the past few days. So instead of some posed shot like I have been doing, this a photo of my darling girl snoozing away after the session. A well deserved nap. 

Reasons why my parents think I'm incompetent

I think I should start a new post series about the blog title. 

Today's example: there are 5 sources of water for the dogs in my place, not including the toilets ☺️ if at any point in time, ONE of them is empty, I'm a terrible dog owner. It just so happens the coffe mug that serves as Egg Roll's water dish is the one that is empty the most. The smallest vessel for holding water... 

Let's not forget that 5 feet away there is a large water bowl in the kitchen that is never empty!

Captain's Log: day 27 - Sadness and Relief

Since Elise hit 3 weeks and is a good breastfeeder and nipple confusion won't be an issue and the hubster started going back to work, I wanted to introduce the bottle so that the hubster could get some baby time when he got off work and to prepare her for when I go back to work.

We have had no luck with Elise taking a pacifier, I thought that taking a bottle would be just as difficult.  I had read article after article and forum post after forum post to figure out how you deal with this.  We had registered for Comotomo bottles because the nipple are the closest to a real breast, but I wasn't sure if that would work for Elise.  I had read that people tried 10 nipples to get their babies to take a bottle.  I had already added different nipples and bottles to my Amazon wish list just in case.

Well, tonight, Elise took the bottle with no problem and drained down 1 ounce of my breastmilk.  As relieved as I was, I was also really sad.  She didn't need mommy anymore.  I was so sad that I even held her to sleep and didn't complain about it once.  My little baby is already growing up.

All I have to say is that Elise is already exceeding expectations in many aspects.  I'm such a proud Tiger mom!

Captain's log: day 26 - Solitary

Today was the first day alone with Elise. The hubster went back to work and I have to say Elise picked a good day to be a good little baby. She wasn't terribly hard to put down last night after her feedings and she was pretty good during the day except when my mom visited. I think I'm getting the hang of this parenting thing.

My conversion to a mom is almost complete. I have a mom haircut and I joined a FB mom group and am setting up mom dates. All I need are the mom jeans!

Captain's log: day 25 - Beach Day

Elise's first trip to the beach!

Today is the hubster's last day of paid family leave so we decided to make a quick trip to the beach. It wasn't too hot and not that crowded. Elise is officially a California baby!

Inside the half tent (Good buy, hubster) it's huge!

Daddy and Elise chillaxing

Our baller set up. Totally doable with one person. The tent was pretty easy to set up. 

Mommy and baby love 😍😘❤️💋💓💞💕

I love

The feeling of having your baby fall asleep on your chest except when it's the third time in a row and its 3 am because she's a gassy mofo who has burped three times and is still gassy because she eats too fast like her mom. 

She's still super cute though. 

Captain's log: day 24 - Splish Splash

Elise's first tub bath!

Where she promptly poops in the tub and the hubster gets grossed out. 

Captain's log: day 23 - Laws of Babies

It's been unequivocally proven that if you want your baby to wake up or not sleep take her to grandma's.  That is the lesson we have learned today and from our last several visits.

Also if you have said baby there, loud aunts will FaceTime and any chance of sleeping is obliterated. 

Anger

It makes me angry that the hubster puts little to no effort to calm the baby. He went on a 3 hour hike on Mt Woodson Trail this morning and came back in pain and sweaty and smelly. 

I wanted to hand him the baby so I could get a nap. I had been dealing with fussy Elise since 1 am. He begrudgingly takes the baby even though what he really wants is a shower.

So how does he handle the baby? He holds her on the couch and let's her scream her head off. If he's really feeling like making an effort, he gives her his pinky to suck on. If that doesn't work, well she can cry it out. 

I wish he would get up and move with her or check her diaper or use the vibrating swing or try and burp her or re-swaddle her a little tighter. I just wish he would try more rather than the ones that require the least amount of effort. 

I'm also mad that I have to be the one to remind him to extend his leave an extra day and oh by the way he's due back into work on Monday and its fucking Friday. So if he doesn't get t approved by today, he's fucking screwed. So I have to take the baby back with no fucking nap while he makes phone calls. He's been back from his refreshing baby free hike for 30 minutes with 5 minutes of baby time. And when he's off the phone, he jumps into the shower when I try to hand the baby back to him

What the fuck!!!

I don't even know why he took paid family leave. Oh yeah, so he can have himself a fucking a vacation. 

Captain's log: day 21 - 3 Weeks

We've reached three weeks!

I don't know how some new moms take all these pictures of their babies as they age. Some are so elaborately planned and their babies look so well dressed or undressed. This was totally last minute and I had given up on a pretty looking swaddle. Her legs were just not cooperating. So here's our little peanut at three weeks. 

Captain's log: day 20 - Full Day

Elise had a busy day today. We went on a walk to the park where it was really too hot to do that. She was sweating up a storm even after getting back the AC in the house. We also went to a breastfeeding support group to figure out how to avoid hiccups and spitting up. Elise is just too fast of an eater and eats too much like her mom.

We got some good tips to implement and I broke out the Boba wrap to see if it's easy to wear and hold baby. I did set it up, but since Elise is sleeping, I opted not to wake her so I could wear her. 

Things I Don't Understand

Why are all nursing tops also maternity tops?

Are they intended to be purchased during pregnancy and continued to be worn afterwards?  That seems silly.  I get that you might still have the pregnancy weight and your normal close won't fit you anymore, but I'm assuming at some point, some people will get to their pre-pregnancy weight and still be nursing and would need non-maternity nursing clothes.

I didn't buy maternity clothes for a reason and I'll be damned if I buy maternity clothes just to nurse my baby.

Captain's log: day 19 - Weight Watchers

Elise had another weigh in today and was 6 lbs 12 oz!  She exceeded her weight gain again!  This one is already exceeding expectations 😁 such a relief.

The breastfeeding is going well, but we now have other issues other than not having a milk supply. She eats super quick like her mother and because of this is prone to spitting up and hiccups. Hiccups means she doesn't nap well and they keep her up. Then she has to cry away the hiccups and be held to go back to sleep. It adds at least another 30 minutes of awake time with her. We are heading to a breastfeeding support group tomorrow for tips to alleviate these issues. 

Side note: all my pictures with Elise are while breastfeeding. Probably not wise to post those. 

Captain's log: day 18 - Relaxing with Mommy

Elise loves hammock time. It helps settle her down and get to sleep without mommy or daddy walking around for hours on end. Too bad it's hot AF here.

Captain's log: day 17 - Milk Volcano

Holy smokes! A milk volcano eruption from Mt Elise!

I fed her this morning and she was fine, just snoozing along on my chest. When I thought she was thoroughly asleep, I got up to put her down in her crib. The moment her head hit the mattress and ungodly amount of milk just spewed from her mouth all over the (just washed) sheets and her hair. Totally unprepared for it, I screamed.

She's just like her mommy, her tiny little stomach isn't nearly as big as her eyes. I'm just glad I'm producing enough for her. Now to get he to stop overeating. I can't keep doing all this laundry. 

Also Happy Father's Day!

Obligatory Lion King pose

Captain's log: day 16 - Fussy Baby

What a difference a day makes!

Elise was the fussiest baby yesterday. I think she got 6 hours of sleep total compared to the 16 she should be getting. She just did not want to sleep and had to be held constantly. Well today, she has eaten like a champ and fallen asleep right after being nursed. A much welcomed respite for one tired and exhausted mommy. I hope this is a sign that my milk has come in fully and she's getting a full feeding is a happy and satiated baby. Keeping my fingers crossed. 

Why do my parents think I'm an idiot?

I think the more appropriate question is why do my parents think following doctor's orders is stupid. They are both adamant that waking the baby every 3 hours to feed her is unnecessary, that the baby should wake naturally and be fed then. 

Let's just not consider that she was a smaller baby and that she hit the 10% weight loss threshold while in the hospital and that my milk hasn't come in fully and that Elise might not be getting enough for me or that the nursing helps both me and Elise. 

Even the smallest things are questioned and I have to jump through hoops to get my mom off my back. Elise developed baby acne yesterday and I googled it and that's what google came up with. I told my mom. Of course, she doesn't believe me. She knows I'm going to have Elise weighed on Tuesday and she wants me to ask the divorce even though it's not a real appointment just a weigh in with the nurse and the doctor is out of town.

That's not a good enough answer, so I had to call the nurse hotline to just get her to leave me alone. Why must I also care for my newborn child and my mother?  Isn't she supposed to be taking some of the burden off me and not adding to it?

Broken promises and commitments

That's all I have to look forward to. I thought you'd be there for me. Apparently not. Your social life takes precedence. Nice to know where me and Elise stand in your life. 

Husbands suck

Why am I supposed to be grateful to be able to go to Target without the baby for an hour while my husband gets to go to a movie and have dinner in fucking Carlsbad and be gone from 6 pm to 2 am?

Parenting before Amazon Prime

I thought that once I was on maternity leave my spending would go down a lot. I won't be driving (no gas money), I won't be eating out a lot (mommy will cook for me), and I'll be housebound (no shopping). Nope, definitely not the case. I've ordered something from Amazon every single day. Teas, swaddled, mattress protector, nursing cover, vitamin D, and so much more. All these things we forgot or needed multiples of that we didn't think we needed. I don't know how parents did it before Prime. Actually go to the store, but man, that's a lot of store runs and then you'd have to buy whatever they had in stock and not what you really wanted. 

In other news, I broke down and bought some shorts to fit the post preggo body, but not at pre-preggo weight. It's going to be hot this weekend and I can't keep wearing my single pair of maternity shorts and my two pairs of larger running shorts. At least not in public. I also need to buy more nursing clothes. My three tank tops won't cut it when I return to the real world. 

Captain's log: day 14 - 2 Weeks

We hit the two week mark!

Our little monkey still is a fussy butt, but we love her and put up with it. Overall, I think she's a pretty good baby, but I have nothing to compare her too. She's the best!

Captain's log: day 15 - Night Sleeping

It's a miracle. First time that Elise went down without a fuss for the middle of the night feeding at 3 am!! Too bad she didn't sleep a full four hours between feedings. Little victories, I'll take it!

Well that didn't last long, she refused to sleep at her next feeding. No idea why she was crying, lots of tears from me.

Underachieving parents?

Confession: I never want to dress my baby. It's just easier for her to be in a diaper and swaddled. Clothes are too much of a hassle. This coming from someone who's number one thing to look forward to was to dress my daughter and myself in matching outfits!!

Captain's Log: day 2 through 13

"I'll be right there"

In what universe does I'll be right there mean in 10 minutes?

Scratch that. 15 minutes ...

Maternity Leave: Day 1

Captain's Log

Day 1:

Woke up at 6:30 am (?!?!??!)
Filed for disability
Watching Hulu
Bored out of my mind.  It's 7:42 am...

Laundry

I used to make fun of the hubster when I would do laundry and find out that I washed 6 shirts, but only one pair of boxers.  It was kind of mind boggling his laundry never fully amounted to real outfits.

Oh, how the tables have turned!

I just ran a load of laundry because I gave the girls a last bath before the baby comes and wanted to wash the towels.  I want a clean house with as little house work to do before the baby comes.  As I'm folding the laundry (it's only been 2 days since I did the last load which consisted mostly of clothes), the hubster has two t-shirts, one pair of jeans, two pairs of socks and a pair of boxers.  Seems normal enough.  Me, on the other hand, three pairs of underwear...

And the weekend load wasn't very much different...

I wear pajamas all day and rarely put on real clothes and when I do, I wear them for an hour at a time and don't think they are really dirty.  I also pee myself a lot lately.  Hence so much underwear.

Are you ready to come out, Baby Stowell?

I've lost it

Control of my bladder that is. The other day while in the kitchen, I sneezed. And peed myself! This has happened before, but it was a little dribble and recoverable. Oh no, not this time. This was some major leakage. 😳😳😳

So now I'm carrying extra panties with me wherever I go.

Thanks pregnancy!

Baby Advice/Comments

So far in this pregnancy, I've only had a handful of unwanted comments or advice that have really ticked me off.

I had one co-worker continuously comment on my clothing choices and that got a little out of hand after the fifth or sixth comment.  I get it.  You are actively tracking my wardrobe choices and I get the feeling you don't approve.  Well, too fucking bad lady.  Maybe I don't want to borrow one of your mumus for the rest of my pregnancy.

The other comment that I absolutely hate is when other parents say "Are you ready for this?" when their children are behaving badly.  I have no illusions that my child will be perfect and a total dream and easy to work with.  I'm quite realistic, but when your child acts up because of poor parenting choices, I don't think that really applies to me and my child yet.  It's a bit presumptuous and I take slight offense to it.

I know all this is said with good intentions, but after the millionth tantrum by said child and millionth "Ready?" comment, I think I get the message.  So save your breath and keep it to yourself.

Cord Blood and Tissue Banking

This is something that the hubster and I have been looking in to.  We decided to enroll in a free "class" to educate ourselves about banking cord blood and tissue.  Our care provider teams up with Stemcyte and provides a free, one-hour "class".  I did not go into this blindly.  I knew first and foremost, it would be a sale pitch, but I was hoping that I would come out of it with some new information that I didn't know before.


I had already discussed it some with my doctor and I knew where I was headed with my decision, but the hubster really wanted to get more information.  I couldn't see how it could hurt.  Famous last words?


It was full class of 9 couples.  We were offered snack and refreshments before the "class" started.  It did not start well.  We watched 3 videos; one which was produced by KPBS and actually featured my first OB/GYN with Sharp (she ended up moving her practice to Del Mar and I was not going to follow her) and two which were essentially utilizing scare tactics on soon-to-be parents.


Our "teacher" was an older gentleman who obviously was trained to present the information as fact without claiming it to be fact - loosely thowing out that stem cells will cure your baby of autism or help the baby walk again.


One of the slides said that there were 70 studies going on in China that treated X, Y, and Z, illnesses.  That was it.  And maybe that's the point.  There are studies going on, but no one really needs to know whether these studies were successful, what the outcomes were, or where they were being done.


It's blatant lying in my opinion.  I get they are selling a service, but what also galls me is that they also play up donating your cord blood and tissue to their "public" bank.  Sounds all nice and for the sake of humanity and all, but what you can later infer is that they later on charge insurance companies $50k to use any of the donated cord blood and tissue that they harvested for free or free from the mothers.  I'm sure they pay Sharp a heavy fee to have staff in their hospital 5 days a week from 6 am to 11 pm to collect donated blood.


It was just scare tactics of all the potential illnesses that your baby could come down with and would desperately need cord blood, but also grandma and grandpa.  They are getting old!  They will need your baby's cord tissue for their survival!  If you this to be available, you should extort your parents for $5k apiece!


I believe that there are 80 diseases that can be treated and cured by the use of stem cells.  80 diseases back by scientific data and studies that pass through a rigorous process.  I, however, do not believe stem call can claim ongoing research and trials as cures for autism, Alzheimer's, stroke, and a slew of other illnesses.  Don't get me wrong.  I think great things can be done with cord blood and the potential it has is unlimited at this point.  There is a lot of research in this field and maybe 10-15 years from now, this will be standard.


We are still on the fence about going forward with this, not because we don't believe in the PROVEN science, it's more the cost.  I'm also not crazy about using this company.  I don't approve of their sales practices.

Sweaty Hands and Feet

I can handle the growing belly.
I can handle that I can't sleep on my back anymore and now have back pain as a result.
I can handle the heartburn.
I can handle the swollen hands and feet.
I can handle most of the changes that happen during pregnancy.


BUT


I hate that my hands and feet sweat so much!  I can't use the apple id touch feature on my phone and I hate how my feet feel in my flip flops because they are wet from sweat!  GROSS.

Getting Our Learn On

The hubster and I attended one of our first baby classes.  Last night's agenda was breastfeeding.  I don't think I've heard the words "nipple" and "breast" said so many times in a short period of time (3 hours).


Lessons I learned:

1. There are a lot of grumpy looking pregnant women.
2. Only I like to sit on the floor with bolsters.
3. The animation of a baby breastfeeding is terrifying.
4. My body is not my own.
5. Breastfeeding and pumping are not intuitive.
6. Sitting for 3 hours is a non-starter.

Next up is childbirth preparation class.  Joy!

Red is my practice baby

Feeding Red a 'human food' snack is the closest thing I have to feeding a baby. Here's how it usually goes:

I call out to Red.
She ignores me.
I call out the word and say the magic word, 'snack'.
She comes running.
I hold out snack in my hand. In this example, it's cantaloupe.
She takes cantaloupe for my hand and immediately spits it out.
I'm prepared for this and catch said cantaloupe in my hand.
I hold cantaloupe in front of her mouth and follow her mouth as she turns away several times.
Red finally accepts cantaloupe and tosses it around in her mouth a few times.
I follow her mouth with my hand in case she spits it out again.

Isn't this what kids do?

Because I'm pregnant, duh!

Here's my stupid story for the day:


I've laid on my stomach on my bed.  The bump just settles into the pillowtop and so it's like I'm not really pregnant at all.


I was cleaning up in the guest bedroom/baby room and had to lay on the floor to look under the bed.  I didn't quite make it and it was the oddest feeling.  This may sound weird and gross, but it felt like what I imagine laying on top of a giant blister.  Something filled with water or fluid.  Took me a second to attribute it to the bump.


LOL, silly me.

Not in the Know

So I've been getting baby advice left and right this week and I just have one question.  Well. I have more than one question, but here is the most pressing one:


I've heard from several sources that they would shower with their babies in the bathroom.  But why?


I can't figure it out.  I think it's because I'm not a mom yet and I don't have a newborn, but hear me out.


Scenario:


You feed baby or baby is napping or there is a window (albeit short) for a shower.
Turn on shower, warms up, hop in, and shower.  It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes.


In those 15 minutes, if the baby wakes up and starts crying, is it necessary to immediately jump out of the shower with shampoo in your hair to attend to baby?  Is there harm for the baby to cry it out for a few minutes?   Is there a study that shows that sudden baby injuries or god forbid. baby mortality higher when moms are in the shower?


Someone please explain to me why it seems common sense has been tossed out the window or is my brain no longer logical?


Thanks!

Morning routine

Every morning is a battle with Red. I wake up and let the dogs out. When I invariably let them back in, the battle begins.

Red ALWAYS races back into the bedroom while body slamming her sister into the wall and hops into bed and settles into my spot on the bed. She waits of me to walk back to the bedroom and just stares me down the entire time!

I continue with brushing my teeth and other hygienic tasks, but we both know I will want to come back to bed where a furball is now occupying that spot.

Ok good days, she moves on her own and cedes to me what is rightfully mine. Not today. Today, she flips on her back and says "Belly rub".

I have to move her over so I can squeeze in into my own bed. She allows it for a few minutes, then sneezes in my face and leaps off the bed to snooze underneath the bed.

Well played, Red!

PSAs

To the general public:


It is never ok to tell a pregnant woman it's time to buy some new clothes. NEVER!




She is well aware of the fact.


To husbands:


It is never ok to exclaim "You look super preggo" to your wife.

Baby Bump

Last night, I had nothing planned, so I used the time to do a ton of laundry and start setting up the baby's room.


I had to take a break from all the activities because my stomach was getting in the way and was starting to hurt from all the bending and picking up I was doing...

The beginning of the end?

Nah, nothing that ominous.


I just want to report that we officially started to turn the office/guest bedroom into the nursery/guest bedroom!


A full week and a half ahead of schedule!


There's real noticeable change, but we did move our bed in the master bedroom to accommodate the desk which will be relocating from the office to our bedroom and moved a filing cabinet out of the master into the living room.  The hubster has started to pack up my desktop computer (it will not be relocating to the master bedroom because come on, when will I have time to use it once the baby comes!


So more boxes have come into the house with the intent of moving them back out of the house.  It's a mess of cables and electronics right now, but it's progress!


Hopefully, the hubster will continue his efforts while I'm at my game tonight.  I can't wait to assemble the crib, more to see if it will all fit and if there's room for a changing table.

My Own Personal Hell

Today I discovered what my own personal hell would be like if hell existed.


Being perpetually hungry, yet unable to eat because there is not enough room for food in your stomach.


Hi baby, can you make some room in there?  Kk, thanks, love you, buh bye.

Cruise Control

I admit I've been on baby cruise control for the majority of the pregnancy.  Aside from the one stint where I researched the best of everything when putting together my baby shower registry, I've been pretty ignorant of the whole pregnancy process.


I take my vitamins, I go to my doctor's appointments, I try to watch what I eat and I try to exercise.  That's it.


I have this sneaking suspicion that after the baby comes and if anything goes wrong, I'll be overcome with mom guilt for not doing everything I possibly could while she was developing in the womb.


Yesterday's doctor's appointment involved the gestational diabetes test.  The doctor didn't make a big deal about it at the previous appointment and just recommended not eating such a big meal before the test.  Ok, I can do that!  Then I start googling about it and I get freaked out.


Apparently, you don't want to fail this test and some recommend fasting and not eating any sugar or carbs prior to the test.  I quickly glanced inside my lunchbox to see what I had packed:


Salad with grilled chicken breast
Bananas
Strawberries
Clementines
Cheez-its
Fruit Snacks
Chocolate chip cookies
Dark Chocolate granola bar


Quick scan of my snack drawer reveals:


Life saver mints
Lindt Dark Chocolate truffles
Honey roasted peanuts
Omega Trail Mix
Mixed nuts


As you can see 90% of my food is on the no-no list.  I didn't eat a lot of my snacks. I did cave in and ate a clementine.  Test be damned, I'm not starving myself.


I subsequently passed, but am I doing a disservice to my baby by not properly preparing?


We got a packet from the doctor about going in to labor and this is all new to me.  I've read through the packet, but none of it wants to stick.  I can't say it's because I still have three months to do.  I research the shit out of vacations months and months in advance.  Why not for baby?


I hope the urge to know what's going to happen when this baby wants out and all the options I'll be presented with will come soon.  But for now, I just want to sleep.

We're having...

Photo credit: Kristina Roskos

It's a girl!!

On a side note, we aren't royals like Kate and Will, but I think our little Whistler photo shoot is on par with theirs in the Alps. Totally the same!

Baby Kicks

I've gotten really good at predicting when the baby will kick.  My stomach gets really hard right before a bout of kicking.  It's like the baby is  curling up into a really tight ball to store some potential energy and then just stretches out in my uterus to deliver a really hard kick or punch.


It does kinda feel like my entire stomach is about to cramp up, so my gut reaction is to start massaging my belly.


So far it's been a good predictor.

Mommy, Hubster, and Baby Venn Diagram

I pull the mommy and baby card all the time with the hubster.  Every time I can and the hubster tries to rebuff me at times.  He likes to think that things that affect me don't necessarily affect the baby.  Obviously, I think that is wrong.  I've illustrated in a Venn Diagram.

You can see the baby is entirely in the "Mommy" circle.  Duh!


The hubster likes to see it this way.

That 10% of the baby is him.  Negs!  No way!  He is completely removed.  Maybe half of the genetic material is his, but right now, the baby is all mine.

I'm an asshole

Not sure if it's the pregnancy or my own natural assholed-ness, but I just saw a post on Facebook about a lacrosse organization donating a set of lacrosse sticks to a middle school program and do you know what I thought?


Too bad they are all illegal!


NOTE: I have no idea if they are or are not legal, but after my game last night, that's all I can think.


I'm a snarky bitch.

An 11.5 inch mango, WTF?

Who has ever seen an 11.5 inch mango? Even with GMO, I have my doubts. This app needs to start checking its produce.

Lost in Translation

This is an ongoing list of things that me and the hubster have misinterpreted:

1. "Push down on the screen (Apple Watch)" - 12/26/15
• Elaine - "Swipe down on the screen"
• Brock - "Press down on the screen"
2. "Turn left at the T-intersection" - 1/20/16

• Elaine - We are the orange SUV, turning left at the T-intersection 
• Brock -  We are the orange sedan turning left at the orange SUV.  i.e. a road dead ends into our current road and to turn left ther

It's the baby's fault

Today, it most certainly is.


I flipped out over a cupcake!


If that isn't the baby talking, I don't know what is.


So last night I had dinner with my friend Kristina at Tender Greens.  As a last minute decision I bought a red velvet cupcake so that I would have a snack at the meeting we were attending later on.  Well, I only had about three bites and I figure I should share it with the hubster.  I took it home and he was grateful that he had a cupcake to snack on.  All I asked was to leave me some (a bite or two).


He did!


This morning I saw the remains of the cupcake sitting on the counter. Yay, a nice sweet treat for tonight.


Let me interject here that at the beginning of my pregnancy I would get nauseous if I didn't eat a fulfilling breakfast, so I started making breakfast burritos in bulk.  Eventually, the hubster wanted to share in my breakfast bounty and soon got accustomed to getting a breakfast burrito on Thursdays and Fridays.  Well this particular morning, there were only 3 burritos left.  I made the executive decision to reheat one for myself and save the last two for us for tomorrow.


I randomly text the hubster this morning about how there was no burrito for him and he said he saw that and was hungry and took the cupcake instead.  *gasp*  MY CUPCAKE!  I completely freak out on him and yell at him that he doesn't care about me and doesn't respect my requests of leaving me cupcake and how I guess he did leave me some, but since I didn't consume it right away that I lost all rights to MY leftover cupcake.  I proceeded to ask him if he was punishing me for not making him a burrito! I told him that I didn't forget to make him one, that we were running low. He conceded and said he wouldn't eat it, but the damage was done.


I look back on this text conversation that took place54 hours ago and just laugh.  My poor poor husband.  The baby doesn't like it when its burritos and cupcakes are messed with.  Better think twice!

I like to move it, move it

Says the baby.

The baby's movements aren't regular, but when it does move, it usually moves after meals.  So if the baby moves more after a meal, does it mean it likes the meal more or less?

I would like to think more because when it does move more, it's with foods I like =)

For example, nothing all day and then a little dance party after eating the yogurt and granola afternoon snack.

And tonight, ate a California burrito and it must be simulating a soccer game in there.

Psssstttt...come closer

I've got a secret.

A little closer.

Closer.

Little more.

Ok, there.

I have a confession to make.  I'm over feeling the baby move around.  It's distracting and feels weird at times.

Ok, that is all.




Oh, yeah, one more thing.

I had a dream about breastfeeding the baby and it felt like it was sucking my soul from me.  Little dramatic?  Yes!

Pregnant women are not invalids!

*takes of pregnant woman hat*

Son of a bitch!!

I planned this stupid Whistler trip before getting pregnant and since there were several people going, I couldn't really cancel.  So no snowboarding for me.  I figure there are a lot of things I can do.  WRONG!

I had settled on going snowmobiling and snowshoeing, but nope, the tour companies won't take a pregnant woman.  Well, the one I was looking in to doesn't.  I'm emailing a few others, but I don't think I'll get a different response.

I could go snowshoeing on my own, but it would be my first time and I am not that experienced.  I don't feel super comfortable taking to the trails on my own, but my research says there are some easy trails in the area.

So plan B is to spend on the money I was going to spend on lift tickets and/or tours on a crazy insane spa day(s).

Woohoo!

Tank Tops

A couple of weeks ago, I went on a little maternity shopping spree where a handful of clothes were purchased, but only one specifically labelled as maternity.  It was a crazy ass expensive tank top from Splendid.  It is super soft and something I could wear after I have the baby.  Win-win.

I figured I needed to buy more tank tops, but didn't want to keep buying these expensive ones.  So I was on the lookout for something similar and significantly cheaper.  Enter H & M.  H & M has their own maternity line of clothes, but very few stores carry them.  I am super picky about my clothes and refuse to buy something that I haven't already tried on or has an easy return/shipping policy.

I tried on their basic tank top and ended up with two of them for $10!  They are long enough to cover my growing bump and come in an assortment of colors.  They were so cheap, I don't mind getting them dirty or throwing them away after the baby comes.  I had to size up, but that's ok.

On a side note, I was getting ready to take a shower tonight when I had the idea to write this post and while undressing (as one does before getting into the shower), I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I was pretty surprised by what I saw and it wasn't the belly.  It was the boobs!

I walked out of the bathroom and into the office to say to the hubster, "Hey, look how big my boobs have gotten!  Probably twice as big as they were before."  Not exactly something I ever thought I would say.  We both got a good chuckle out of it.

More Midnight Convos

Strong Feelings

I don't usually get very deep with this blog.  It is really just random thoughts.  A topic that I am beginning to feel very strongly with is abortion.  I've always been pro-choice, but  now that I'm pregnant, I am even more pro-choice and that every woman should have reasonably easy access to it.


I would have thought that having a baby would make me skew more pro-life.  That every baby is precious and blah blah blah.  Nope, definitely not the case.  I'm so scared of having this child and being able to provide for the baby and all that goes with it.  How can woman not have that option readily available to them?


Compared to the general population, I'm pretty much set.  I have a steady job that pays well.  My husband also is in the same boat.  We were DINKs (Dual Income No Kids), so we have a savings, we have disposable income.  We have a stable family life and are prepared for this child.


I cannot imagine a woman who was not as unfortunate as we are.


And that is my deep thought for the day/week/month...